Becoming Ashlee
*sigh of rage*
TUMBLR! It is ME editing my posts, not a hacker!
I’m make typos, ok???? I want to fiiiiix them! Get over it! STOP MAKING ME RESET MY PASSWORD!
Thanks.
“ Late November; somethings wrong, you’ve kept it secret way too long. There’s not much anyone can do, from here on in it’s up to you. I wish it wouldn’t, but you know, the show goes on, I have to go. Promise to get well soon, to feel much better soon. Can you feel it, is it true? Is something gone inside of you? Wish there was something I could do. From here on in, its all to you. You’ll get well soon. Just get well soon. ”
The Perishers
“ I think you’ve heard me say my hands are cold but my heart’s on fire. Fear has always held me down. Been on my knees, now I’m aiming higher. ”
The Perishers
An Update on Moi and A Confession…
So lately I’ve been cycling around. I start out very happy and satisfied; kind warm, fuzzy, carefree, and a little bit determined. Then I proceed to feel a heaviness creep into me that I only partly understand. This is when words become unsatisfactory and I would like to just be left alone. But at the same time very much want to express how I feel. However, the concepts floating around in my head don’t lend themselves easily to words then. This lasts for a day or two, then I wake up and am back to my happy self for a little while. Next comes frustration. As I try to take in information to make sense of the world, I only become more bewildered by conflicting opinions. And there are masses of them. Sometimes I feel like I’m shuffling around them like fallen leaves. Don’t get me wrong, the basic truths I’m pretty clear on. But it has been driving me insane not knowing what’s true when it comes to say, the interpretation of a novel, or the explanation of why cells know how to become specific body parts during fetal development, or what mature behavior is. There seems to be a thousand different opinions for everything and, frankly, I feel overwhelmed and exhausted at the thought of having to sift through them for the rest of my freaking life. *sigh* And if I’m not busy being frustrated with opinion, I’m very likely being frustrated by my own inconsistency and trying not to think too much about my potential for negative behavior.
Oh - and to top it all off, I think I’m starting to like ……………. country music. Yes, yes. It’s true. Not SUPER country. But still …. That’s the worst of it all. Ok, not really. ;P But not what I expected of myself.
But underneath it all, I sense something happening. Something positive. Some sort of growth, some sort of forward motion. And so I’m guessing this is just growing up. Which is, when all is said and done, kind of exciting.
“ I never really ever know what to say when all of my emotions get in the way. I’m just trying to get us on the same page. I always get it better right afterward when all the wrong impressions are said and heard. How come I can never get the right words I need to convey? Wish I could explain. Can I let the trees do the talking? Can I let the ground do the walking? Can I let the sky fill what’s missing and can I let my mouth do the listening? ”
Lights
Strawberry Glue Horses ... Forevahhh
- Brittany:
- WHAT IS THAT??!!
- Ashlee:
- WHAAAAAT??? *proceeds to take flying leap across basement in fright*
- Brittany:
- Nothing.
- Ashlee:
- Strawberry fields forevah.
- Brittany:
- Is that Beatles?
- Ashlee:
- Yes.
- Ashlee:
- What smells like glue? Did someone kill a horse?
- Brittany:
- Do dead horses smell like glue?
- Ashlee:
- No, they make glue out of dead horses.
- Brittany:
- REALLY?? Still.
- Ashlee:
- I don't think so.
- Brittany:
- From what part ... ?
- Ashlee:
- mmMMmm.
Mhmm.
- Ashlee:
- Ok.
- Nick:
- You sound half drunk.
- Ashlee:
- Thank you!
- Nick:
- I didn't know what was a compliment.
- Ashlee:
- That was sarcasm, Nicholas - SARCASM...
- Nick:
- Well, you're welcome!
- Ashlee:
- Bye.
“ The more kinds of music you can learn to love, the greater your ultimate pleasure will be. ”
Patrick Kavanaugh (yep. and that’s why I listen to practically everything.)
